TMI: Thought for Food

I have been meaning to write this for weeks but I suppose the day after Halloween is as good a time as any to stop procrastinating.

One thing I have been thinking about as the "Big Four-Zero" quickly approaches is going on a healthier diet. I decided I will not try to eat less and exercise more since the more I think about not eating the more I actually do eat. I am sort of like that slow reading cartoon character on The Electric Company who would forget a sign contained the "NOT" word. [Yes, my TV viewing habits were established at a very young age.]

Of course, the fates have conspired against me. I went on my first cruise this summer. If there is one thing I learned, it is impossible to go hungry on-board a luxury liner. I finally fully appreciate the old joke, "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it." Fortunately, I did spend several hours power walking through the streets of a few Alaskan towns, otherwise I would have gained a ton of weight. I do not know if I will ever lose the half-ton I did gain.

Next, it seemed like every food that was supposed to be healthy to eat could make you sick instead. It started with spinach, then it was a lettuce recall, and next it is something else yet to be identified. On the bright side, all these food scares have allowed my sister to achieve some airtime on news show on a station in Los Angeles, KTLA [For some reason you have to use Internet Explorer and click on Part Two: An E.Coli Lab to see the video]. She does not get a speaking role but is one of the women seen messing around with test tubes and lab machinery. This means she is one of the few people in my family who has a job that all my relatives can now understand. I imagine it is a cross between CSI and Ghost Germ Hunters.

But I digress. I suppose if I live in an age where any food I eat could potentially kill me, I should get to choose my poison. So, let me introduce you to Deep Fried Coke. I wonder what happens if you squeeze a Mentos into that.

If I had just procrastinated a few minutes longer, I could have incorporated this news hot off the press that obese mice can stay healthy (but not get skinny) with a chemical called resveratol. Could Woody Allen actually be the second coming of Nostradamus?